If you guys dont start posting

[Hillbilly Jim]

im gonna have to start reading books or some other boring shit

[blake]

can't now, watching idol on dvr

[blake]

stop talking about lemon pepsi

[Hillbilly Jim]

stop talking about lemon pepsi

http://i.imgur.com/t5Gkb.jpg

[rum dick]

Blakes wife drinks grape pepsi

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

FUCK INDIANA AND ITS GAYCERS.

BULLS FOREVER.

peep dat content.

[behemoth old]

FUCK INDIANA AND ITS GAYCERS.

BULLS FOREVER.

peep dat content.


http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slideshows/516/slideshow_51693/display_image.jpg?x=714596

[Hillbilly Jim]

for real guys if you dont stop being so fucking boring im gonna start reading a book tomorrow

[rum dick]

for real guys if you dont stop being so fucking boring im gonna start reading a book tomorrow


"Baseball," said the Englishman, "is an excellent game, no doubt. I can hear that smack of 'the pellet' in my palm, and almost feel it too. But aren't you a little unfair in taking all the credit for the game and calling it American? Shouldn't you mention the fact that baseball comes straight out of cricket, which is a wholly English game?

"I'd mention it," replied the American after a moment of deliberation, "if it weren't for one thing - the fatal flaw in cricket, which, to my mind, puts it right out of consideration."

"What is that?"

"Simply the fact that no one understands it, I mean knows what it is."

"You mean no one in the United States?"

"No, no. I mean no one at all, anywhere. Just between you and me, I don't think cricket has ever been played."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's my belief that at some time in the past an Englishman may have had the idea of a game to be played with bats and balls. He started to explain it - as many Englishmen have done to their American friends - but he couldn't go on. It was too complicated. What saved him and his idea was that he was talking to fellow Englishmen. They hate theory anyway, so they went ahead and got bats and balls - of sorts - and to oblige their friend, they stood around with them, running here and there very quietly from time to time, making believe they were playing the game. That's how the tradition started."

"What tradition? I'm lost!"

"The tradition that cricket is the national game and that every Englishman loves it. In a sense he does love it. 'Playing the game' means he wouldn't do a thing to dispel the general impression that there is such a thing - it's an exact parallel to what they call the British Constitution."

"You're pulling my leg. There is such a game."

"I assure you there isn't. You'll admit, surely, a thing that everybody knows, namely, that Englishmen don't know when they're beaten? Well, that follows logically from the fact that Englishmen don't know when they're playing. Name me another game than cricket which you don't know you're playing when you are?"

"You're juggling with words!"

"And you're blinding yourself to the evidence. Is it likely that people capable of inventing a game would make it consist of such objects as sticky wickets, creases, fast bowlers, overs, and centuries? One of their terms gives the show away: every so often they have a Test Match - it's to find out whether the game is possible or not."

"What do you suppose happens then?"

"After a few days on the field, the excitement dies down. The issue remains in doubt. Meantime - and this is conclusive - every British subject has a perfect right to say to any other: 'This isn't cricket.' How do you reconcile that with a set of rules for an actual game?"

"B-b-but, you can't be serious. I can make allowances for the fact that you've never seen a cricket match but you must have read about the game in Punch If you can't follow the sense of it, there must be some reliable source-"

"Would the Encyclopaedia Britannica do?"

"Certainly."

"Well then. Get hold of the last British or fourteenth edition and look up cricket. What do you find? The history of the local clubs. Names of great figures. Older and modern style - style, mind you! Not a single word about the rules or who does what. No diagram, even - in an encyclopedia too. But no wonder - it's as I told you. The best you can hope for is that by watching our G.I.'s play baseball, some of your brighter fellows will find a way to make cricket come out. Compared to a real game it's in the chrysalis state."

Excerpted from: God's Country and Mine
A declaration of love spiced with a few harsh words.
By Jacques Barzun
1954

[Harley]

Viv Richards fucked pikes mother

[Steerpike]

it was her patriotic duty

[Hillbilly Jim]

well since you guys are such morons ive had to start reading this book

http://i.imgur.com/ZI7kS.jpg

[rum dick]

What are the first two things you see in that book cover?

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

tories and glory.

[Hillbilly Jim]

anal rape statue
and guy with sword in one hand and a black dildo in the other

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

rape statue was obv what i was referring to with "glory."

[Hillbilly Jim]

if fourdargons posted here id ask him to replace all those guys with tory from saved by the bell

[Steerpike]

not gonna happen jim

[rum dick]

Jim and jive are gay

[rum dick]

Guy on the far left totally banged that six in the painting.

[Hillbilly Jim]

A. thats only one thing
2. how do you know he banged her?

[jiveturkeysuckafool]

dave's just bitter because:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_azorGkCtHTo/SCmvHg7CHYI/AAAAAAAAApI/G73R5tRCMWY/s400/Tori6.JPG



beget



http://www.skatzpoker.com/forums/image.php?u=21&dateline=1302756261

[VaughnP]

The naked chick and the chisel and hammer in the floor

[Hillbilly Jim]

I warned you morons

[DankBlaniels]

what books have you been reading ?

[gay sex]

a vogue he found in his moms bathroom from 2002

[Been]

jim, what are your wm picks?

[rum dick]

A. thats only one thing
2. how do you know he banged her?


Well Jim, the guy (who is showing off his latest acquisition) and the chick are the only ones making eye contact with the viewer. He has a certain smug self-satisfied look on his face. And his crotch is right behind her head. Naughty little painting really.

[gay sex]

ur grape pepsi line deserves a plaque

[rum dick]

Jive had the post of the thread until Alexander Hamilton got switched out for Richard pryor.

[Statutory Ape]

What are the first two things you see in that book cover?

Painting by Titian in the foreground, some statue of some humping in the background, also I think the guy sitting has a hard on.

[rum dick]

A. thats only one thing
2. how do you know he banged her?

a. Because he's clearly supposed to be the painter of the nude painting. Look at the way he's holding the painting,
b. Also, the artist points out a connection between the painter and the chick by having those two be the only two making eye contact with the audience eta wait the homely lady in the painting above the painter's shoulder is making eye contact too....she's probably the wife of (e),
c. More importantly, the look on his face screams "verily i doth hit that ass",
d. Back in the ole days artists oftentimes used whores as their models, and that chick was clearly a whore,
e. The painting is probably an inside joke about one of the artist's colleagues banging that whore (or it's a 4th level self-portrait).

Duh.

[Hillbilly Jim]

you guys are so boring that i signed up for a real time fantasy horse game that has been going on since the 90s apparently

i have already spent most of my money and if my horses dont clean up on the wednesday and saturday im gonna quit that dumb game and read a book i swear it

[rum dick]

Link to the dumb 90s horse racing game pls

[Behemoth]

Who the fuck still reads books. GET SERIOUS WITH YOUR LIFE JIMMY BRO

[Hillbilly Jim]

Link to the dumb 90s horse racing game pls

http://www.finalfurlong.org/

the people on that site are really awful, they talk like these fake horses are real and some even have blogs to show off their stables and to discuss breeding options

[gay sex]

theres no way you dont have a secret fake horse blog

[Hillbilly Jim]

real talk i think if the people on their forum went to druffs site they would be scared and think pfa posters were bad asses and if they came here they would report us to the local authorities

[gay sex]

likely correct also james i did this for you last night ser/Phone GameDate Sport Description Risk/Win Win/Loss
Amount Result Date Placed
INTERNET / -1 Ticket #: 33746319
Jun 02 08:10 AM

MU
STRAIGHT BET
[8238] G MONFILS -165
(G GARCIA LOPEZ vrs G MONFILS)

500 / 303

303
WIN
WIN
06/01/2014 08:34 PM

[gay sex]

TENNIS BREH GOT ME FIRING SHOTS ON BLACK FRENCH DUDES

[Hillbilly Jim]

oh and i didnt mean bad ass in the cool way i meant they would think pfa posters are bad ass hard men

[gay sex]

well sonatine is over there delivering keynote addresses and dave basically lives there so its quite the place

[gay sex]

whoever had the pfa shirt or hat thing with druffs face and like tomatos stuck on it like mickey mouse ears did basically win that entire website

[Hillbilly Jim]

you guys should sign up to that horse site and we can make an official skatz thread and social group and maybe even it's own forum and we can have vaughn add blogs to skatz

:modesto

[gay sex]

little did ian know that a tiny social group would bring down his empire

[Behemoth]

well sonatine is over there delivering keynote addresses and dave basically lives there so its quite the place


Fuck'em both

[Hillbilly Jim]

so we are going to need to guys to start signing up before we kick off the new forum

http://www.finalfurlong.org/

[gay sex]

seriously though the season finale of silicon valley was fantastic and halt and catch fire might be heading toward goat status

[gay sex]

its just all coming up computer nerds brehs

[Hillbilly Jim]

when you sign up make your farm only 1 mile from whatever track you choose it will cut down on shipping fees for your horses

[gay sex]

btw if anyone here signs up you are getting banned from skatz

[Hillbilly Jim]

btw if anyone here doesnt sign up you are getting banned from skatz

[Behemoth]

oh and i didnt mean bad ass in the cool way i meant they would think pfa posters are bad ass hard men


Not sure where you going with this but take 7 of the biggest from PFA and the team of Grape and Rape will prevail. I guarantee.

[Hillbilly Jim]

btw if anyone here signs up you are getting banned from skatz

i would suggest buying a couple cheap races horses just to get used to the game

[Behemoth]

Seriously though staring down Grape and Rape shit starts to get real. On one hand, you have Grape who will eat your face. Now he's teamed with this unknown behemoth named Rape and you really have to be questioning if this is what you signed up for.

[Hillbilly Jim]

Grape Ape would be a good name for a horse and it is still available!!!
dont forget to sign up at http://www.finalfurlong.org/

[Hillbilly Jim]

you guys can take atour if youre not sure if you want to sign up or get banned from skatz
http://www.finalfurlong.org/tour.php

[Hillbilly Jim]

the fake horse game people are stillllllll fucking terrible

when one of their horses die they make up stories about how they died and everyone gives condolences

[Bobby Wong]

jims fake horse died of autism

[Hillbilly Jim]

that is an untruth
my horses die of old age or during foaling