Fucking Lawyers
 

My ex decided to take me to court for more money AND, ON TOP OF THAT, has decided that she wants some of my injury settlement money.


Even though that cunt had me removed from my house under a false rape/abuse report, had a 4 yr affair, took eveything I owned except for a leather chair and a jazz fest poster, my attorney today told me that she can go after my shitty settlement because at the time of my injury, even though I was separated and living in an empty house with no belongings, I was technically married (divorce didnt become official for 30 more days).


FML

I need a drink. AND, I had to pay $900 for my attny to represent me in court tomorrow for 5 minutes and write up a settlement agreement for her where I have to pay another $5K in old bullshit that she wants paid for.

Are these real Bob posts? If so, are you OK?

My advice is that if you got that money in a lump sum and not monthly payments, do something to hide it now or convert the majority of it into gold and hide the gold.

like i would own a jazz fest poster, you rube

Dumb bitch left the country last week for a trip to Mexico with her boyfriend and WOULD NOT tell me how or where to get in touch with her.

Me: "Hey...I need a phone number so I can call you in an emergency. Will you be local, out of state or in another country?"

Her: ".........I dont know"

Me: "You dont know?!! You are leaving tomorrow! What the fuck! I need a phone number at least. What are you, like 5 fucking years old?!! This is fucking ridiculous!

Her: "Call my cell"

Me: "If you leave the country, I CANT call your shitty blackberry. It wont work!"

Her: "Yes it will!!"



two days later, right after she finally emails me to let me know she is in Mexico:

<phone rings>

Me: "Hello"

Unknown number: "#$%&**&%$$#$%^& total interference on line $#$%^**^$#$%&&"

Me: <click>



Text message from her: "I HAVE EVERY RIGHT BY LAW TO SPEAK TO MY CHILDREN. LET ME SPEAK TO THEM NOW"

Me: I didnt know that was you. I hung up. THE PHONE DIDNT WORK, LIKE I FUCKING TOLD YOU!


what a gal...

<spit>



20 years ago, my dick obv made a bad decision...

Did you steal drk stars diary

and this is why you never fuck women at a phish concert

It all happened because drk is so old he met his ex through the classified ads in the shitty arts and entertainment weekly where you had to pay per letter. She was like, "This dude's really cheaping out on vowels, but he's into Jizz Fest, so I'm gonna go have a couple kids with him and he won't mind me fucking around."