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Old 08-17-2016, 01:09 PM   #1
Bobby Wong
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Default Seven years ago today

Scooter began playing a slots tournament run by an unregulated South American online casino. Over the next two weeks he spent over $20000 on buyins before becoming convinced that it was rigged.

http://www.borispoker.com/hall-fame/...ip-report.html

Quote:
As some of you may be aware, I have a little casino affectation. Poker is too retarded a game for me to be interested in.

The shiny lights and glamour of Slots online is exciting and my chief source of entertainment, which says a lot of stuff about me - almost all of which is good.

Yesterday, I discovered my casino of choice (Millionaire - cause it reminds me of bygone days - "Thousandaire" just doesn't ring the same bells) had been running a Slots tourney without my knowledge. Whilst it's possible they didn't notify me intentionally out of spite and to keep me playing their ridiculously rigged JoB and BJ games, it's more likely I drunkenly sent their email to spam.

Letting bygones be bygones, and not wanting to dam up the bridge, I didn't pursue the issue as I normally would (calling for heads to be rolled, chat abuse, asking them if they knew who the fuck I was, etc) - and I calmly entered the $10 rebuy slots tourney. $300,000 prizepool was on offer, so I knew the rebuy action would be fast and thick, especially because 1 rebuy = 1 spin at max (even if max spinning wasn't optimal, I'd spin at Max because, frankly, that's how I roll).

I was in for a few hundred rebuys when I finally hit the magical feature, which is basically Deal or No Deal (ironic in some ways as this was discussed in a thread only days/weeks ago on Boris [where fine 130-150 IQ minds apparently gather to discuss issues of this nature]).



I went with my 'gut', which has served me poorly in the past, and I finished the game with $10 ($100,000 max prize, 50k, 40k, 30k, 20k 10k cases and so on all missed late, and I turned down many 'insulting' 5 figure bank offers obv).

Not long after, I (almost unbelievably - and this was really nothing but evidence of my skill at tournaments and life in general) hit the Bonus Feature again.

Wisely ignoring my gut's hand in the air, I went instead to the good people at random.org (who had performed semi-admirably in the past). They told me to pick case 4 so I did.

Then they told me to pick the next 25 cases in a sequential order, should I choose to reject the numerous disgusting bank offers (which I did). We were finally down to two cases, with the $100,000 suitcase remaining and the $10 suitcase remaining. The bank offered me $50050. Without thinking, I accepted the deal in glee, only then groaning when it showed that my case had the $100,000 in it.

That groan (realising if i held firm for the coinflip, as is my nature, I would have gotten $100,000 instead of $50050) was about 1.3 on the Richter Groan Scale to the 7.8 Richter Groan I uttered only moments later when I realised that I'm playing for first prize of $100,000 with $30,000 for 2nd and that taking that 50/50 deal was moronically stupid, of a level of stupidity usually reserved for women, sufferers of Downs, senile old folk and children.

Realising (1 min too late, than $100,000 is better than $30,000), I decided I had to chase the leader who was only 1 or 2k in front of me in first position.

I actually briefly passed him at one point (and should have stopped, forcing him to chase me and likely bust as you will shortly discover is a risk you take in the Fast and Furious World that is the Professional Slot Tournament Circuit), but partly through arrogance in my Slots ability, and partly due to the fact that I was insanely high and possibly even drunk...I played on "to establish a firm gap". lol.

To cut a long story short, I'm now effectively eliminated from the tournament, stuck around 600 rebuys, and wondering what I would have done with that $100,000 first prize that was basically all mine if I didn't FUCK UP beyond comprehension.

* Obviously, had my suitcase not held the $100,000 - my decision would be genius (bad, but genius). However, what the suitcase held was irrelevant - and the clear no-brainer decision was to reject the 50/50 bank offer and go for the $100,000 and basically lock up the entire fucking tournament.

** Had I done so, I would not be 100% guaranteed the $100,000 cash win, of course. Just merely a 98% chance, for someone *could* fluke a 50k / 100k Feature Win. However, as proven by my turning $55,000 in tourney chips to 0 and then burning another few hundred rebuys without hitting the feature again - let alone requiring the top 1 or 2 suitcases out of 26 just to be in contention - one can see I would have been in what they call "a good position".

--------

So that, boys and girls, is how you fuck up $100,000 (almost guaranteed) - by being retarded and thinking inside the box EV instead of outside the box EV - outside = always, always better.

I pray you will learn from my mistake/s in such adventures, for I almost surely will not.

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I will now be checking the leaderboard every day hoping against hope that some lucky fool hits like $150,000 before the tourney ends, which means I just blew $30k instead of $100k (not to mention the fucking glory of winning a fucking Slots donkament zomg - I may never forgive myself, and should I one day gg this life, I shall include this mistake as my primary reason for doing so).

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