Originally Posted by
behemoth
When you die I will be sad. However, I will fuck all of your wives in your honor. Unless they're over 24. Then I'll sell them.
Not following the grammar here- I think you meant something like
"My dear friend RUm Tum Tiger,
When you pass away bro, realtalk- I will probably cry. OK, not probably... I want to add something important bro, if anything happens to you I will do as any good friend would and make hot love to your wife's anus until she is healed from within. I know you would want her to be happy after you are gone and women seem to get real happy when I fuck'em hard in the ass so the logic is, ilke, solid. After my thick pulsating member perorates her sweet sweet rectum over and over again, and then over some more, she will be restored and ready to move on in life. I know it's a lot to promise you and quite frankly I don't now how I'll manage, but you have my word that
*you can count on me.
When I say "hey bro, you know we BFFL right here!", I mean it. The pumping bro-fist at the end is like inscribing into dying the cast and all that bro, it's our commitment to each other forever, till death do us part. You may die but you will be living right here in my heart and that's a promise. In fact, you will probably share my aunts urn with her and her cat cuz then you wouldn't be lonely. See I always have you in my heart bro, real talk... Realtalk...I bet I could get a amen right now if you were here bro that's how real it is in this room right now."
Best,
Your BFFL,
Behemoth
"*" defined as follows= Behemoth cock and all subsidiary organs reserve the right to outright deny any snaggletoothed old biddy's, Behemoth et al are not fond of dentures, if he/I/we wanted to get a gummer we will seek out the appropriate crack head thank you very much. I am there for you bro, but I'm not, like, "there" and I don't want you to die to knowing how I stand.
Real Talk About Subjective Immortality with Sonatine
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