To play What Would Willy Do, one person presents a hypothetical scenario and everybody predicts what they believe Willy MacFML would do in that situation. At the end of the day, Willy can reveal what his actual actions would be and pick whoever is the closest. The winner gets to pick next week's scenario and hoser gets banned.
This week on What Would Willy Do:
Willy travels to Detroit with two friends to buy two kilograms of powder cocaine from some blacks. He then goes to Walmart, where he purchases several boxes of baking soda, a coffee maker, a small microwave, and some beef jerky. The three of them rent a hotel room and proceed to convert all of the cocaine to crack rock. This takes them most of the evening and by the time they are done all three are high as fuck from the amount of atmospheric cocaine dust they have ingested.
One of Willy's friends suggests that they go across the river to Windsor, Ontario to visit some shady strip joint where lap dances are five bucks. They agree that sounds like a good plan, because it is an all day drive to get home but they are way too wired to sleep any time soon. They leave the crack in the hotel room safe and drive to the Canadian strip club without incident.
As soon as Willy sees some titties he freaks the fuck out, because coke always brings out his latent homosexuality. He excuses himself and walks into a nearby alley to smoke a cigarette and calm down. From the far end of the alley he hears a commotion and some screaming in French and decides to investigate. He walks toward the noise and sees JackDaniels savagely penetrating a short hairy young lady beside a dumpster. She is screaming and thrashing around and there is blood on both of them, although that may be from the copious amount of broken glass littering the area. The girl has crimped hair and is wearing a denim jacket and skirt and a t-shirt that reads "j'ami l'dicque." Unfortunately Willy doesn't speak French. Jack stops humping for a moment, turns and asks "What are you waiting for bro, get your rape on."
I know you have a good eye for fine details but one niggling issue is that willie has absolutely no idea what black daniels looks like (I am pretty sure he doesn't.)
What would willie do in that situation- pretty sure he's a straighter arrow than he seems at times, I predict he calls the cops and tells oven wax to hit the road and when the girl gets up he actually helps her up with his left hand since the cell phone he is using the call the cops is in the right and temporarily preoccupied. In the end willie ends up banging the girl he saved from rape and reassures himself he's not fucking gay and points to the bitch he just laid as proof, oven wax literally walks a block away and rapes some other girl (hopefully a hotter one) and I lost my train of thought because I can't fucking rent a fucking OBD trouble code reader because theres' some class action bullshit and I have to buy the fucking code reader or find someone who has it. I have to get the trouble codes for this fucked ABS problem I am trying to fix and literally I have 20 possible reasons the ABS Fault light is on AND I CAN'T DO A DAMNED THING UNTIL I KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING MALFUNCTIONING. FUCK.
Hey what happened to willies friends and all that rock? Did they get rich or die trying or what? Did the girl end up pregnant and do we know who the father is yet or what?
Blake why is your handle still HAS NOT COMPLIED WITH POWER'S TRANSPARENT DIRECTIVE TO WEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS IMMATURITY? Do you like salting old wounds or what? I vote you change it to something else, that was a dark time for Skatz and truthfully I think it's best unremembered.
that's easy. willie agrees to join in on the raping and he makes the agreement in good faith. he drops his drawers and starts to move in on the girl, but on the way to the vagina, he spies o-waxs tight and hairless ass (o-wax waxes his own ass obv). the sight of o-wax's ass glistening with sweat (and just a little bit of blood) rhythmically pumping away is too much for willy. between the coke, the sleep deprivation, and the adrenaline, willy's ability to suppress his latent homosexuality fails him. before he can stop himself and before o-wax can even say "calm down nerd", willy is inside o-wax. furiously inside o-wax. all 9 inches of his fat okie cock is plowing o-wax's wheat field. o-wax is too weak from the blood loss to free himself from willy's coke powered grasp. the girl escapes and calls the cops. the canadian cops arrive twenty minutes later to find willy pumping away and o-wax weeping softly begging willy to stop (and at one point o-wax even offered to give willy his IST password in exchange for mercy, but willy replied "I'll take that from you when I'm done just like i took your ass cherry"). the cops, being pussy canadians and not wanting to have to touch a man with a giant coke erection (which is understandable on second thought), decide to let willy finish his business before arresting him (they woulda tased willy but the batteries were dead, and they couldnt figure out how to change them...too bad ape wasn't there). another twenty minutes goes by before willy finally, mercifully climaxes inside o-wax. the cops then immediately arrest both of them. cup bails out o-wax. chaps bails out willy. behemoth robs willy's friends and sells the crack to hoser. the end.
food for thought marty- I bought a pair of jeans this afternoon on a whim. Nice day and was on a lunch date at the mall (women fucking live inside malls I swear, it's like they only leave because they have to but given the choice I think they would live there) and saw a pair of Levi's I liked. I tried them on, they fit pretty good and I liked how they looked on me so I bought them. I'm wearing them now in fact and I am content, I am happy.
Think about that and tell me the difference in comparison to your very flawed thought process in a similar situation. I am certain you can't and I am also pretty sure you are the only person on this forum who won't get what I'm saying and the saddest part is that you have very legitimate help available right here for free and you don't take advantage of it. I don't understand that, this wall of ignorance you hide behind- who are you afraid of? Who do you think is going to hurt you but you? You can't put walls high enough to keep your worst enemy out you know. You have nothing to fear if you think about it...
Do you think stuart is a real friend marty? Hit him up for rent sometime and see how he reacts to it. How about calling him on the phone because you applied for a job and don't think you're going to get it and you just need to vent. The next time you take a girl out on a date and you feel you're getting mixed signals, ask him what he thinks and see what kind of answer you get.
No offense Stuart, pretty sure you'll get my intended message and it really has nothing to do with you.
Official What Would Willy Do Wednesday Thread
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